here are the pros for deploying Prince Harry to Iraq, as part of the Western coalition's ongoing, four-year plus occupation of the country to build democracy and enhance security.

1 So we can get some new army footage other than the retarded 'eyes right' pish we see at the moment.

2 He is keen to speak to Shaikh Abu Risha about his Anbar community policing plans, and their application in Slough and Windsor on a Friday night.

3 His mum fancied Arabs.

4 After going to the Chelz match on Wednesday, he is clearly craving excitement.

5 Because we 'shouldn't credit the insurgents' with having the skillsets to kill a future king, even if he is driving about in a tank like any other jarhead squaddy.

6 Because Harry did a paper on Mesopotamia and early Marsh Arab culture at Boujis University.

7 Indeed he knows a lot about Babylon.

8 And there isn't anything he doesn't know about the Shia-Sunni schism.

9 The boy-man handles alienation well, being physiologically estranged from his family.

10 Oh yes, so we can blame Iran when he comes back in a royal body bag!